I feel the urge to share this

Getting unexpectectly pregnant at the age of 20 is hard. Having the love of your life loving and supporting you sure makes it easier. But it is still hard for both. Gaining 30 pounds or more after pregnancy is not the best part of it.

After pregnancy, I was left with this feeling of failure and sadness that was heavier than any other burden I had carried before. Even tough I can still feel the remnants of that time; yoga has helped me leave that stage little by little. One day at a time.

My yoga mat; the cheapest one I could find seven years ago or so, stained, stinky and old as it is today, has seen me cry many times, it has seen me laugh, jump, sleep, stare at the ceiling and even yell. Somedays I really, really don't want to do yoga, but it is very hard for me to go to bed without stepping on my mat for at least 20 minutes. I don't have a perfect body. But what I have accomplished has been with hard work, commitment, and self care. No surgeries (as tempted as I once was 😅) no pills, no magic tricks. And for that I am very proud.

As women, we should really aknowledge the power we have over our bodies and minds. And that includes, deciding when or how we want to be mothers. Even for a second time. I didn't get to plan the first time and I take responsibility for that. And even tough I wouldn't want my life to be any other way than it is right now, I do want to decide next time. I truly believe all women deserve the ilussion and excitement of having a baby come and I do, too.

I am NOT any worse of a mother for wanting to wait, I don't love my child any less for not giving him brothers or sisters yet. I am not selfish or vane. I am just accountable for myself. If you have a different opinion I can respect it but I would ask you to keep it to yourself. I will let you know when I need it. Don't let ANYONE tell you when you should or shouldn't make such an important decision. It only takes two people, and therefore, only two people must agree. Maybe I will regret waiting for so long when the time comes, but even then it still will have been my decision, and for me that's worth it.

And to the loving man sleeping next to me every night: I thank you for your love and support. Even tough this is a sensitive topic between us, even tough we have different opinions right now about it, you respect my will above all peoples opinions and comments. It means a lot to me.

I love yoy.